Oh Canada Day

Our fair Mizzou's been host to its share of smashing events: Career Fair, Career Fair II, and many upon many of thrilling basketball games (ha, just kidding ;-)). Yet the 'ol black and gold couldn't possibly have been primed for what would be its finest, and may I say, "north-of-the-border-est" day yet. I hope you're sitting down or, at the very least, playing hockey.

That's right: last Thursday was supposedly "Canada day" at the University. How do I know? Well, as it turns out, our brothers up North thought it would be a swell idea to interrupt a perfectly good Poli Science lecture with some garb about all the wonderful brands of newsprint that get shipped in from Canada. Not that I'm dismissing the significance of Canadian imports, it's just not something I was expecting- dare I say prepared- to see. Either way, Canada felt the need to get "all up in our faces" about it. First Brain Adams, now this...

Anywho, we were lectured by a perfectly nonasuming Canadian "representative" of sorts. For all intents and purposes, we'll call him "Mr. Canada." Come to think of it, I'm not exactly sure what made him qualified to speak on the subject of obscure imports in the first place. All in all though, the lecture hall didn't seem too enamored with Mr. C' s song and dance, except there was one thing that kept a soul from snoozing or even goofing off for that matter. Indeed, this speaker had a secret weapon...

And it wasn't Canadian imported newsprint. About every two or three sentences, Mr. Canada would- seemingly uncontrollably- give a loud, obnoxious, and nervous laugh. Some of the more cruel kids got a chuckle out of it at the beginning, but after a while it became truly jarring- kind of upsetting, really. Mr. Canada's machine gun laugh kinda started to scare me by the end of the class, I must say. Perhaps the land up North's a little creepier than I thought.

So, needless to say, dozing off wasn't really an option. This meant that the 300-so faithful of Government 1200 were forced to mull over the juicy merits of the Canadian/ US border for a good 75 minutes. We survived, but I will say this: if your speech ends with the phrase: "... So the next time you see newsprint, you'll think of..." you're probably better off not giving it in the first place. But then again, I haven't ventured to Canada in quite some time. Who knows what they're up to now?!

So with all the hullabaloo that transpires every day at our fair Mizzou, we might as well take a short moment of silence to recognize Canada day. Why, where would we be without imported cars, hockey players, and- of course- newsprint.

So the next time you see newsprint, you'll think of this totally cop-out Blogger post. :-)