Drew's Irrelevant and Time Killing Moment of the Week

How many times can you be forced to think about gay Cowboys?

What with all the Brokeback Mountain spoofs out there, the answer's probably somewhere between 7 and those figure-eight-ish infinity signs you had to learn about in Calc but never use with a straight face in the "real" world (ya know, that thing that we live in).

But don't fret! Yes, I bring you another Brokeback Mountain spoof, but this one- I think- is actually pretty brilliant (or at least as brilliant as these things can get). Check it out:

Brokeback to the Future

Until next time- adios!

24's Chloe: What Crawled up her Butt?

Throughout T.V. folklore, there's been a lot of stuck up characters. Why, take Detective Andy Sipowicz, Mr. Belvadere, and even that wretched doorman from Seinfeld. Yet, as far as my buck goes, none has ever been as stuck up and downright unpleasant as one Chloe O'brian from FOX's superdrama 24.

"Don't look at me. Gosh! JEEZ!!"

Granted she's been through some stressful days, but that can hardly warrant her all around snoodiness to just about everyone. If you're not a 24-natic, then here's just a typical conversation with this broad:

Edgar: Chloe, can I get intel on this transaction.

Chloe: Jeez Edgar, can't you see I'm busy. Can't you do anything for yourself!? JEEZ!

Edgar: Sorry, I just thought I'd come and talk to you for a bit.

Chloe: Well, I don't have time to talk, OK?! JEEZ!

Well, perhaps I exaggerate things just a little bit, but the essence of Chloe is there. I must say that although her character can be very cold, she's an exceptionally hard worker down at CTU and has always seemed very focused (only in 24 hour spurts, that is :-)). If only she were actually a real person, huh? :-)

All things aside though, '0l Chloe's snoodiness is too tart to ignore. But, who knows, if she keeps it up, she may earn a true spot in T.V. history as one of its grumpiest protagonists ever. And that's not just the emotions talking. :-)

But as for now, just leave me alone. Gosh! JEEZ!!

24 fan bonus question (2 points):

Do you get the feeling that Edgar and Chloe will "hook up" some day? Personally, I get the image of them getting married on the last episode (with JB as the best man, of course), or something along those lines. What do you think?

Oh Canada Day

Our fair Mizzou's been host to its share of smashing events: Career Fair, Career Fair II, and many upon many of thrilling basketball games (ha, just kidding ;-)). Yet the 'ol black and gold couldn't possibly have been primed for what would be its finest, and may I say, "north-of-the-border-est" day yet. I hope you're sitting down or, at the very least, playing hockey.

That's right: last Thursday was supposedly "Canada day" at the University. How do I know? Well, as it turns out, our brothers up North thought it would be a swell idea to interrupt a perfectly good Poli Science lecture with some garb about all the wonderful brands of newsprint that get shipped in from Canada. Not that I'm dismissing the significance of Canadian imports, it's just not something I was expecting- dare I say prepared- to see. Either way, Canada felt the need to get "all up in our faces" about it. First Brain Adams, now this...

Anywho, we were lectured by a perfectly nonasuming Canadian "representative" of sorts. For all intents and purposes, we'll call him "Mr. Canada." Come to think of it, I'm not exactly sure what made him qualified to speak on the subject of obscure imports in the first place. All in all though, the lecture hall didn't seem too enamored with Mr. C' s song and dance, except there was one thing that kept a soul from snoozing or even goofing off for that matter. Indeed, this speaker had a secret weapon...

And it wasn't Canadian imported newsprint. About every two or three sentences, Mr. Canada would- seemingly uncontrollably- give a loud, obnoxious, and nervous laugh. Some of the more cruel kids got a chuckle out of it at the beginning, but after a while it became truly jarring- kind of upsetting, really. Mr. Canada's machine gun laugh kinda started to scare me by the end of the class, I must say. Perhaps the land up North's a little creepier than I thought.

So, needless to say, dozing off wasn't really an option. This meant that the 300-so faithful of Government 1200 were forced to mull over the juicy merits of the Canadian/ US border for a good 75 minutes. We survived, but I will say this: if your speech ends with the phrase: "... So the next time you see newsprint, you'll think of..." you're probably better off not giving it in the first place. But then again, I haven't ventured to Canada in quite some time. Who knows what they're up to now?!

So with all the hullabaloo that transpires every day at our fair Mizzou, we might as well take a short moment of silence to recognize Canada day. Why, where would we be without imported cars, hockey players, and- of course- newsprint.

So the next time you see newsprint, you'll think of this totally cop-out Blogger post. :-)

Drew's Irrelevant and Time Killing Moment of the Week

Seeing as it's Torture the Singles Valentines Day, your's truly felt compelled to pen a love song. This one's kinda kitchy, but all in all, I think it's a pretty good one. I wish you guys could hear the guitar parts with the words, but I suppose the lyrics will have to stand on their own for now. So with no further ado, I give you Disasterproof, a Drew Stewart joint.


Disasterproof


Well waiter there’s something wrong with my drink/
I didn’t ask for so much cyanide/
And this Olympic size pool don’t help too much/
When it’s so darn cold outside/
Call me up room service, a man just ran off with our bed/
And tell them to forget the meal and just bring us some towels instead/


CHORUS:
There’s no doubtin’ we ain’t got no luck/
We can’t catch a break or a buck/
But when you’re by my side, everything’s right, it’s true/
‘Cause baby, your love is disasterproof/


Well we flew all across the sea/
Just to see the beauties of Rome/
But a sign said “closed for renovation”/
And a man told us to go on home/
And we saw the leaning tower of Pisa/
And it was leanin’ just fine/
In all of those colorful postcards/
We bought in the refund line/


There’s no doubtin’ we ain’t got no luck/
We can’t catch a break or a buck/
But when you’re by my side, everything’s right, it’s true/
‘Cause baby, your love is disasterproof/

BRIDGE:
Well we’ve traveled the world/
Seen everything by a hair/
We’ve crashed every fair and every zoo too/
But the greatest day in Brazil couldn’t compare/
To the worst day of my life with you/


Well just last evening/
I may have had the time of my life/
And seen the most beautiful thing a man will ever see/
with his own two eyes/
There was no need for tickets/
And there was nobody turning us ‘round/
Cuddling at home with my baby/
Just watching the sun go down/


There’s no doubtin’ we ain’t got no luck/
We can’t catch a break or a buck/
But when you’re by my side, everything’s right, it’s true/
‘Cause baby, your love is disasterproof/

A Question I've been Running With...

For all sakes of sanity, can someone tell me why they reverse the running directions on the Rec. center track every day?! I first noticed this yesterday, after smacking into about 30 runners and scolding them for running in the wrong direction. It's insanity, I jest.

But then again, I suppose it doesn't matter too much anyway. After all, the only reason I go in the first place is just to stare at sorority girls keep my body in tip-tip shape! And who could blame a guy for that?

Drew's Irrelevant and Time-killing Moment of the Week

Got a 12 page paper to finally get started on? Well forget it Jack, because it's time for my Completely Irrelevant and Time Killing Moment of the Week. This week's sashe features one of my favorite videos of late. I'd love to show it to you, if only I knew how to link a document. Thank you Professional Writing class ;-).

Personally, I'm loving this video- of course- like McAdams loves Gosling. I'd love to know what you think, yet just knowing that I've killed a little bit of your time would be satisfaction enough :-).

Adios!

Nellie McKay Profile (the Uncorked Edition)

It's a Long way to the Top: A Profile of Nellie McKay

Singer/ songwriter Nellie Mckay's history is nearly as eclectic as the music she's become known for composing. Mckay was originally born in London, England in 1984 to a director father and an thespian mother (making a career in entertainment a no-brainer for the artist). At the age of two, McKay and her mother moved to New York City where they would live for about 10 years. In 1994 though, the two would move to the Pocono mountains in Pennsylvania- a more than adequate place for any teenage girl to play out her high school days. When it became time for Nellie to move onto college, she decided on the Manhattan School of Music, putting our heroin back in the fine state of New York. So, being a singer/ songwriter, McKay must've blazed through music school with floating notes and flying colors, right? Well, not exactly...

After two years in the Manhattan School of music, McKay began to feel disjointed and isolated. "I wandered the dorms only at night, to put up fliers for my shows," said McKay in her official online biography. "I was either locked in my room, not answering when people knocked, or in Greenwich Village playing [music] and meeting drunks and loners of all descriptions." According to her biography, McKay had never been a decent student and her college years weren't serving her any better. By the spring semester of 2002, Nellie had officially dropped out of the Manhattan School of Music in pursuit of a new existence. Finding that existence though, would serve as her toughest assignment yet.

Shortly after dropping out, Nellie began performing stand up comedy in a number of New York nightclubs. Along with this, she was playing piano in nearly eight gigs a week. Although she was getting plently of work, McKay's sly and non conformist sensibility continued to get the best of her; most notably when getting canned from New York's Mozart Cafe. "I liked to play Christmas songs in August because people would smile and it was the best time to play them 'cause people weren't sick of them," Mckay said. "I got fired for that."



Luckily though, things would soon begin to look up. In 2002 Nellie took the Best in Show award at the Mountain Valley Arts Festival in Guntersville Alabama. McKay took home the prize for the tune "Won't U Please B Nice"; one of her first attempts at songwriting. Receiving such an award proved to be a landmark event for the artist, proving that her own creative products may be well accepted by the public. Soon afterwards, Nellie returned to New York where she would frequently unveil more and more new songs at the local clubs and cafes- mostly to stellar audience approval. Her creative fruits were beginning to ripen, yet McKay's greatest opportunity was yet to come.

In February 2003, Nellie served as the opening act for the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow band at Tonic, a popular lounge in New York's lower East Side. As luck would have it, Tom Ruttenburg, a writer from Time Out New York magazine, was in attendance. Impressed by McKay's performance, Ruttenburg published a very enthusiastic article about the young artist. No less than 48 hours later, two record companies would begin a bidding war over the rights to publish Nellie's music, with Columbia records being the eventual victor.

In the summer of 2003, McKay began recording on her very first record, working with sound engineering legend Geoff Emerick (revered for his extensive work with the Beatles). Next winter, Nellie's first album, entitled Get Away From me, was released to enthusiastic reviews. "McKay's penchant for offhand satire and warped musical-comedy allusions aligns her more closely to skewed songsmiths such as Randy Newman and Van Dyke Parks," Rolling Stone magazine declared in their album review. "And she's only nineteen!" The album has since sold more than 120,000 copies and caused an interest in McKay that was certainly hard earned (it even earned her an opening spot in numerous Sting performances). A follow up album entitled Pretty Little Head is currently being wrapped up, as a release date has yet to be announced.

Aside from creating well received music, McKay is an artist that strives to use her fame to fuel her political and social ambitions. An open feminist and PETA representative, McKay has made open statements on many political issues, concerning everything from animal cruelty to inner city gang violence. "Being politically active - a real impact, even a small one, is more important than the fleeting ego gratification of commercial success," McKay said in a Washington Post interview. Nellie is clearly an artist that aims to create an influence not only in the music world, but also in the the vast haven of social and political relations.

As she continues to compose music and perform around the nation, Nellie McKay is an individual that can serve as an inspiration to all of us. Knowing where she came from and the adversity she faced, perhaps we can gain a better perspective on our own struggles. If for nothing else, Nellie McKay, through her music and sensibility, can help us to relax and enjoy our lives just a little bit more.

"My career is my party," McKay said. "It's fun, and everybody's invited."

Meet Nellie McKay. Nellie says Hello.

"This is your day,
to buy a paper,
draw a mustache,
make the mayor a giraffe."

~ Suitcase Song

Singer/ songwriter Nellie Mckay's history is nearly as eclectic as the music she's become known for composing. Mckay was originally born in London, England in 1984 to a director father and an thesbian mother (making a career in entertainment a no-brainer for the artist). At the age of two, McKay and her mother moved to New York City where they would live for about 10 years. In 1994 though, the two would move to the Pocono mountains in Pennsylvania- a more than adequate place for any teenage girl to play out her high school days. When it became time for Nellie to move onto college, she decided on the Manhattan School of Music, putting our heroin back in the fine state of New York. So, being a singer/ songwriter, McKay must've blazed through music school with floating notes and flying colors, right? Well, not exactly...

After two years in the Manhattan School of Music, McKay became apathetic and disengaged causing her to discontinue her enrollment. After dropping out, the artist underwent a brief stint as a stand up comedian in New York City, also playing piano to pay the bills. Nellie's career didn't seem to be heading in any direction, that is, until she caught her big break.

February, 2003: McKay was opening for the Trachtenburg Family Players at the Tonic bar when Jay Ruttenburg from Time Out New York magazine took notice. One enthusiastic article later, a myriad of record companies began bidding for the artist, with the eventual victor being Columbia records. Roughly one year afterwards, Nellie McKay would release her first full length studio album Get Away From me.

The songs from McKay's first album truly displayed the artist's stylistic diversity and strong interest in social intitutions and political engagements. The piano ballad "I Wanna Get Married" for example, gives a tongue-in-cheek assessment on tying the knot. "I wanna get married," Mckay sings in deadpan. "That's why I was born." Other songs like the angry white girl rap of "Sari" and the disco of "Waiter" draw their lyrics from political issues- the latter being about a young woman's dissillusionment over reading a news story declaring a U.S. victory of Iraq. "Maybe it's history/ Maybe it's victory/ Maybe it's you!" sings McKay over a steady drum beat. Many of the songs from Get Away from me displayed the artist's burgeoning talents- both behind the piano and behind the notepad- and really give a strong identity of the focused and gifted artist that Nellie McKay is.

Her second album, tentatively titled Pretty Little Head, hasn't been slated for a release date, mainly due to a squabble between McKay and Columbia records. After Nellie had finished the album, the record company wanted to cut nearly 20 minutes off of the top of the LP- something McKay wouldn't stand for. The quarrel lead to Columbia and McKay heading in seperate directions. News on the subject of a new publisher for the album is slim, but we certainly can assume that whenever Pretty Little Head is released, it will be exactly as Nellie McKay intended it.

Those looking for a passionate and relevent artist couldn't go wrong with McKay. Whether she's prodding the piano or crooning about Capitalism, it's hard to deny that Nellie is one girl who knows her stuff.