One of the Greatest Blog Posts of the Last 20 Years

Ya know, there's just a lot not to like about uber-pretentious musicians. Whether they're guaranteeing a grammy win (i.e. Kanye West) or lampooning their material like it's the savoi faire that music so desperately needs (i.e. Kanye West), arrogant musicians have a childish swagger that makes- at least myself- almost want their material to flop. After all, if your music is truly spectacular and groundbreaking, do you really have to tell everyone that it's spectacular and groundbreaking. Me thinks not so... me thinks.

Well gents, it seems that our old pal Kanye's recently been one-upped by, it would seem, an unlikely candidate: the Killer's frontman Brandon Flowers. And, I must say, the level of pushy pretentiousness recently displayed by Flowers easily trumps anything Mr. West has let unthinkingly slip out of his mouth ("George Bush doesn't care about stop signs- forreal y'all."). Yes, my friends, this may be the arogance A-bomb of recent times:

Brandon Flowers is a Doofus

"... The last 20 years!!!" Perhaps it's just my southern upbringings, but it almost floors me of how someone could make such a dern pretentious statement. Honestly, there were many more sensible ways Flowers could have vented his "excitement," such as:

A) "Gee golly, this is gonna be one of the best albums of the year!" => Would've accepted that

B) "I'll tell ya, this is gonna be one of the better albums in the Killers catalogue" => Probably would've made more sense

C) "Eh, it'll probably be better than Fall Out Boy" => Now that's a winner!

Flowers: "Ugh. TELL me my mascara isn't running!"

In all honesty, I simply wonder where the modest hardworking musicians have gone (then again, were there ever any?). It seems that few mainstream musicians can simply pen out tunes without some kind of macho cockstrutting involved. Naturally, I blame rap music, SUV's, and fraternaties- in no particular order :-).

But all things aside, this will definitely go down as one of the greatest blog posts of the last 20 years. :-)

~ Adios!

Two Reasons to Love NBC's America's got Talent!

I suppose I'd be pulling your leg if I told you there were a multitude of reasons to tune into NBC's hyperactive America's got Talent. That being said though, I can give you two solid reasons to check out this most recent ridiculous TV farce:

1) "Awesum!": Whenever judge David Hasselhoff (yes, he's a talent judge now) is particularly impressed with an act, he fawns and quickly says, "you were awesum!" I know you can't imagine what it sounds like when ol' Hasselhoff says this, but I must say that it's very contageous. Why, I'm trying diligently to fit it into my everday conversations. Ex: "Wow Mom, these week old mashed potatoes are... awesum!"

2) Bobby Badfinger : Need I say more :-)

So, if anything, you can tune into NBC's America's got Talent to check out these two... uhm... showstealing attractions. After all, they almost make the show... awesum! :-)

~ Adios

A Man who's Inspired me like no other: No wait, I'm Serious!...

Whenever I'm faced with a incredibly tough situation, I think of a song that quickly inspires me to get back on my feet. But what's the tune, you must be asking? Is it "I will Survive?" "Born to Run," maybe? Is "Hey Jude" my motivational montage? Ha! Not even close. The song that inspires me through tough times in none other than:

MC Hammer's "Too Legit to Quit"

Everytime I feel like giving up, I usually go through the same inner dialogue with myself. I typically say:

"Am I gonna give up? No way! You know why, cause I'm...

TOO LEGIT, TOO LEGIT TO QUIT!"


God Bless you, Hammer :-)

Proposal Revision: Like my old Proposal, but Shinier.

It's bigger, it's badder, it's... uhm... proposalier. That's right, at the following links you can check out my revised proposal. Oh, and don't bother putting on your reading glasses- just strap yourself in and feel the G's! :-)

Business Writing Proposal
Works Cited

Enjoy!

Drew's Irrelevant and Time Killing Moment of the Week

With finals coming up all too soon, it's time we asked ourselves a critical question: what would it be like to see Chuck Norris kick Indiana Jones in the family jewels? Well, my friends, look no further than my Irrelevant and Time Killing moment of the week.

The Ultimate Showdown

The subject that this video really covers is a century long battle between the world's finest popculture heros. It's reached relative internet popularity, so don't be too surprised if you've already taken a gander. If not, then enjoy the cheesy bloodbath!

P.S.: Also look for a brief cameo by Arrested Development's Tobias Funke. Once again though, it's very brief.

Adios!

How about this: A song about the job search!

That's right- this recent summer job search has inspired me to write a tune about the promise of future employment. I came up with the idea after searching through Monster.com and seeing one ad that simply said, "WE ARE HIRING!" This ad's over the top nature quickly inspired me to write this song (which sounds like a Dixieland showtune if you could hear the music with it). All things aside though, it's an incredibly cynical song. Then again, it's a bit easier to be cynical about the workforce after having to clean up half eaten chimis at Casa Gallardo's :-)

I hope you enjoy this song!

We are hiring

We are hiring!/
What an opportunity/
We’ll offer pay and food and stay/
And derelict immunity/
Come as one/
Come as all/
Come you fat, short, thin, and tall/
We’re hiring/
We are hiring you!

We are hiring!/
But not just any Joe/
We’re looking for a soft and senseless/
Crow to mold like cookie dough/
Be a man/
Be top shelf/
Become our version of yourself/
We’re hiring/
We are hiring you!

We are hiring!/
With some very special perks/
We need a brain to ease our pain/
And extra arms to do the legwork/
Do some work/
Do a ton/
Just put our name down when you’re done/
We’re hiring/
We are hiring you!

We are hiring!/
We’re looking for a bolt/
To stay in place and run the race/
Then dance our civil pension waltz/
(slows down to dramatic, burlesque show tune ending)
It’s 50 K/
For 50 years/
Then best of luck at Wal Mart- CHEERS!
We’re hiring/
We are hiring/
We are hiring- YOU!

"What about Jobs?"

Considering I already have a summer job lined up, I decided to use this assignment to look for a job that looks fun and exciting. Searching through Monster.com, I found an open position for a company called Complete Music DJ Service. The job entitles becoming an emcee of sorts to work at private parties, weddings, and other overzealous events. Well what could be more fun and exciting than that?

CM Job Information

But the question remains: what am I going to do to increase my chances of getting this job? I'm glad I... uhm... asked myself. In my resume, I'll make sure to emphasize my experience as a restaurant host (dealing with customers and making them feel better) and my volunteer work as a post operate transporter at St. John's Mercy hospital (once again, I had to cheer up some incoherent people). I'll keep my resume brief but focused. Once I finish it, I'll throw it into the "employment hat" and see what happens.

All in all, I'm looking forward to this next assignment. Who knows, someone may actually make some money out of this :-).

Adios!